z-kaz

Meanderings of Z.

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Location: United States

Monday, February 13, 2006

What have I forgotten?

Do you ever feel that you have forgotten something? At times, usually when I am attempting to fall asleep, I get this overwhelming feeling that I have either forgotten something important, or failed to do something I was suppose to do.

It seems to be centered on the past, sometimes the distant past, and sometimes some event that was fairly recent. The strange thing is I am not sure what triggers this panic. Have I really forgotten something important? Have I neglected to finish something I had planned to complete? I am starting to think that it is my subconscious telling me that I made a horrible decision. It always seems to occur when I am trying to sleep, so this could make sense. As I relax, my subconscious starts to process recent events, or even really old events. It starts to look at the decision trees and determine, based on all the possible outcomes, how the one that materialized weighs in as the better outcome. In short, my subconscious is trying to file events into “well done”, or “you’re a moron” folders.

The scary thing is I am not sure I always am aware of the final outcome. I mean, I feel the “panic” that I forgot something, but I never get the warm fuzzy that I figured out what it was. How am I supposed to go through this filing cabinet when I don’t know something new has been filed?

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